Two years ago, I packed up and moved to Boulder, CO.
Eight months ago, I booked a few flights to Europe, threw all my stuff into storage and spent five weeks traveling.
Six months ago, I moved back to Texas for friends and family.
Today, I am making plans to move back to Colorado, to visit Costa Rica, and to continue freelancing.
I have my many, many failures to be grateful for. In each sentence above, I show you the “epic,” decisions I have made in the last few years, all of which made for great Instagram content (I’m laughing at that sentence are you?). What I don’t show you is the even more epic failures that came along with all of those big decisions.
Allow me to entertain you with them:
Two years ago, I left my family, a loving boyfriend, and never cried more in my entire life than the day I moved to Colorado.
One year ago, I quit my full-time job, in tears, because my superior was scolding me, I dreaded going to work everyday, and I decided enough was enough. No triumphant exit here.
Eight months ago, I booked flights to Europe and by the time I was on my third country, I had already spent half of my budget. I also lost a jacket, hat, bleached and ruined half of my clothes, got fined £80 in Germany for sneaking on a train, broke up with my boyfriend in Finland and rage-cried to a Desaparecidos song, “Mañana,” up and down the terminal (we’re happy together again now), bought a plane ticket to Ireland I never used because I got too homesick by the time I arrived in London. When I flew home I had to borrow $600 from my boyfriend and roommate to make rent, because I was BROKE. By the way: I was lonely as hell about half the time in Europe.
Six months ago I moved back to Texas for my friends and family and regretted the decision immediately and tried to bail on my roommate two months in, but have since then actually enjoyed my time here.
Today, I am eager to move back to Colorado, but am also going to miss my friends, family and boyfriend when I leave again. I’m also trying to make plans for a trip to Costa Rica, to take five days for myself and attend a yoga retreat, but first I have to figure out what I owe the IRS as a self-employed worker (yes, I have waiting until the last minute to pay my taxes). I am also learning how to be more organized in my business, after taking the long way to get there.
So the next time you see someone posting their filtered life on Instagram, or writing a blog post about all the efficient ways to start a business, know that they did not just obtain that knowledge or that life. Many, and most, work incredibly hard for it and FAILED LIKE HELL.
If you’re currently working towards a dream, whatever it is: I hope you also fail like hell, in the best and most eye-opening way. 🙂